The Woods are Dark

When an unkempt legless man drags himself out in front of your convertible on an isolated mountain road and throws a severed hand at you, you should: A) Stop and see if he needs a hand (sorry, couldn’t help myself) B) Show him your boobs, Laymon nipples and all C) Go get some chicken fried steak and eggs at the next available diner D) Take a few minutes out for some steamy lesbian sex E) All of the above. The crazy thing is that in this one, all of these are very real possibilities. There are no wrong answers in this one. It has a bit of everything. Crazy as hell from the get go and only gets crazier as it gets rolling. If you know what you are getting into ahead of time, I have a feeling that you will enjoy the ride. It is filled with gory, absurd, blood-soaked sexy times, cannibal feasting and lovefest with your usual suspects of inbred crazies and no shortage of the infamous rock hard Laymon nipples. Good time granny hammer fun, backwoods cannibal lesbian love, a dried dozen-dork necklace, riding the Cordelia train, Krull heads on a stick, Sheri is bi for Neala pie and the best vacation Lander has ever had. Yep. That about sums it up. I liked it. But, it should be noted that I’m a weirdo and was laughing out loud in all the inappropriate places. If you have delicate sensibilities then I would probably stay far, far away from this one. As a matter of fact, you probably shouldn’t have even read my review. And what the hell are you looking up this book for in the first place Mr/Mrs prudey-pants? 4.5 Amazon Stars rounded up to 5 based on the non-stop-bloody-inappropriate-crazy-fun factor. That and because, I say so.

Originally published in slightly different form in 1981, 'The Woods are Dark' is Richard Laymon's take on the whole "cannibalistic savages in the woods" theme that we all know and love. Laymon pulls out all the stops here, and while I don't consider this his best novel, it's definitely his most gruesome. It has two converging plots, one about two young female hikers, and the other about a vacationing family staying at a small motel in the nearby town of Barlow. Little do they know that this area is home to a large group of savages known as the Krulls, who live in the woods and feast on out-of-towners, or that the townspeople are in cahoots with them. At 215 pages, 'The Woods are Dark' is a very quick, very intense read, one of Laymon's most "impossible to put down" books. It's also extremely stomach-churning. Just when you think Laymon has gone too far, he goes one step further. Whereas most of his novels have a level of light-heartedness to them, while still being scary and disturbing, this one is straight-up DARK. There's no let-up. Or set-up, for that matter, which meant I never really felt connected to any of the characters, and the only reason I don't lump it in with Laymon's very best. Still, it is a must-read for any fan of the late, great Richard Laymon.

This was an interesting read to say the least. But I’m confused as to what happened at the end? Did Neala and Robbins survive or what? I never felt so unsatisfied with an ending to a story, and I’ve read hundreds if not thousands of books.

Having never read any of Richard Laymon's works, I was looking very forward to diving into this book, and what a book it was! The Woods Are Dark was originally published in 1981, and Laymon often stated that this book ruined his career. Not due to his writing, but his publisher, Warner Books, had done such a hack job of editing and removing parts of the tale that he believed the original tale could never be put back together. His daughter, Kelly Laymon, wrote a prologue in this edition explaining how she carefully reconstructed this story to resemble her father's original storyline. Thank you, Kelly! . This is a dark, demented tale involving murder, mayhem and cannibalism, with a dash of imminent insanity pervading this chilling tale. If this is typical of Laymon's writing, I'm kicking myself for being 35 years late to the party. This is the classic horror that I was raised on and love.

I haven't read Richard Laymon in probably 10 years. This was a fun trip down memory lane, as his style is one of a kind. Very fast paced, gory and erotic. Typical Laymon. Fun story, and one that will stick with me, I'm sure.

No spoilers! This book scared the wits out of me! I started reading around 10pm and I finished at 4am. Reading this at night definitely sets a different mood. I honestly wasn’t expecting much. I was curious, the sub genre niche of horror this book falls into, I guess I expected something sub par. Far from it! Laymon’s ability to describe visuals was delicious! Gore, smut scenes, terrain, sensations, etc. I’m impressed he made such an odd combination of cannibalism and smut seamlessly come to life. There’s no lack of action either, and not once was anything predictable! Obviously a rated XXX book, if your kid is asking for this book I’d question why, but for those thinking this book has no violent sex and could be triggered with the forced scenes, you now know! For me it was a very easy and fast read. No flourishing fanciful writing like a Terry Goodkind. There also wasn’t much unnecessary drama. Still though, a wee bit of drama, but in a way needed for the reader to understand the character’s actions and decisions. Character development felt natural. The characters weren’t overzealously developed or subpar. If you’re into blood n guts and want to read something new other than vampires, zombies or viruses and can stomach some pretty violent smut scenes, this is for you! Yeah, definitely following Laymon for more reads!

Although I didn't like the supernatural theme, it wasn't that bad in the beginning. It got stranger as the book went on. Hard to keep the characters straight and at times, the character's names seemed to change in the middle of the chapters. Unless Johnny and Robbins were the same guy? But if so, why did people refer to him by both names? I just couldn't keep up. It was a good, fast read but often times felt like a teenage boy's wet dream. Just too much going on for me.

The book wasnt bad. Dont get me wrong. Just not what i expected. There are so many more appealing ways this book could have went. When it was all over i kind of wished that it had been more of what i wanted it to be. This probably makes no sense but o well. I just feel like given the genre and the plot it could have been better. It went q route i didnt exoect it to take and almost left me feeling like the author took the easy safe routes while writing this, instead of just going all out horror, blood curtling guts and gore and messed up shit....more like the hills have eyes or wrong turn.