Fear of Intimacy

I love this book. Look, I'm 27 years old: I've been in countless therapy sessions with numerous therapists and have read dozens of self-help books (many just offering more fluff than substance). To me, nothing has explained human behavior in interpersonal relationships as eloquently as this book has. As others have stated, this book is psychologically "dense" (i.e. you may have trouble understanding some of the concepts without a psychology background). However, this book has has completely shifted the way I view the world, the way I view myself, and the way I view human relationships. If you're wanting to learn how to be truly intimate with another, or wanting to learn about what intimacy is, or just looking for a change because your life feels a little empty, I'd recommend this book over anything else.

I picked up this book as a way to understand the behavior of someone close to me, and I was amazed at how much of it I could apply to myself. The book offered so much insight into people and their behaviors. I have recommended this book to many people and have even bought it as a gift. This book is written in a more clinical way, perhaps not readily consumed by the masses, but I found it to be much more insightful and "helpful" than any self-help book I've ever read. I recommend this to anyone who has an interest in human behavior.

Sure you need to have a good background in psychology, in other words, not just introductory psych that you took as a survey course in college. But as an alternative you can just grab a dictionary and learn what terms like "projection," "internalization," "defense mechanism" mean in the context of interpersonal relationship. So heres goes--I have been a nurse for 35 years, and I started out as a psychiatric nurse (yes, it does take one to know one). The book literally is changing how I look at the world. Now listen to me, I have had couples therapy, individual, and group; but this book makes sense of all I ever learned about myself and other people. NO JOKE. Be ready to have you pants scared off and you socks blown off. Or MAYBE it is just ME? Some of this stuff is painful to hear. We turn out to be our own worst enemies and push away what we need--sad.

Having been involved in domestic violent relationships then deciding to go it alone for a while this book was great from the perspective of allowing me to question my reasoning for getting involved with another relationship or did I have a fear of intimacy that would keep me at a distance to eventually have a healthy relationship. I liked it very much!

This is not a pretentious self help book that builds you up with malarkey like "GURL YOU DON'T NEED THAT MAN." It's a very well written in depth look at what makes us push people away, withhold feelings and why our relationships fizzle away. It's been such a huge help to me in helping me understand myself. I highly recommend this to anyone, even if you think you don't suffer from a fear of intimacy.

This book triggered something in my brain called 'cosmic consciousness.' I went 'crazy' because I delved deep into my mind and fixed it from the ground up. I discovered what people have been missing in the world.My parents freaked out. I freaked out. They sent me to a behavioral health clinic where I spent a week with troubled children. They gave me an IQ test and the nurse confided to me that I was the most intelligent person to have ever been incarcerated there.I'm now on two psychotic meds. My parents don't really trust me. Church is painful because I want to get up and argue with the preacher.10/10 would go crazy again.

Mind blowing Introduction. Made me rethink my whole life!!

The authors developed their own method for recovery that the book refers to often and is offered as the healing approach but not revealed. More detailed instruction regarding how to deal with and heal these issues would have been more helpful. The book revealed many interesting drivers behind intimacy issues that helped me understand my behaviors and those of my loved ones. Awareness is the first step to healing and this book helped me become much more aware of how I was sabotaging and backing away from my intimate relationships. It shed light on behavior that I thought was normal and healthy and explained how it was not. The personal dialogue of the individuals in the study group didn't interest me at first but I found it to be enlightening upon reading and following every entry. I also found it surprising to read the self-talk these individuals had going and had the courage to share. It appears we've all got some pretty crazy story lines running in our heads. I would've liked much more explanation even though they explained quite well, though sometimes briefly, some of the issues regarding intimacy. I also would've liked more information and written instruction on how to heal each of these issues. Knowing they exist is very helpful, healing them is a lifetime of work.

I am really enjoying reading this, it's well written and not at all dry like one would assume to come from a nonfiction. It's help me understand about the dynamic of relationship and what one can do to improve it. But it isn't just for couple, this books has helped me to reflect on myself and what I can do to be a better person for myself, not just my partner. I highly recommend this for anyone who is searching to understand how we can be evolve as a person.

Best book ever!!!

Inspiring and enlightning also for a lay man in psychology.Great for anyone enthusiasted in improving their relationships, parenting, and just growing as a person.I wish there was also a bit shorter and easier to read book, something I could recommend also for average friend with a bit less time and enthusiasm.

Excellent .A real investigation into emotional anoerexia

This has got to be one of the most interesting yet mentally tiring books I have ever read. This book is PACKED full of researched information as to why people struggle in relationships. I love this book, but it's taking me a while to get through.