Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

DR HENRY CLOUD has been a guest speaker at my church on more than one occasion over the years. He’s an amazing speaker, and seems like a genuinely nice guy. When I heard about BOUNDARIES: WHEN TO SAY YES, WHEN TO SAY NO – TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE by DR HENRY CLOUD AND JOHN TOWNSEND, I decided to purchase it. I’m sorry to say I let it sit on my bookshelf for some time before finally reading it. Once I got started, I quickly realized what a treasure I’d stumbled upon. There’s so much good stuff packed into 304 pages, I can’t begin to cover it all. I will say that I have more dog-eared paged in BOUNDARIES, then I do in any other book I’ve ever owned. I didn’t realize I had boundaries issues until I read this book. There wasn’t a chapter I didn’t get something out of it or couldn’t connect with. I had thought about skipping the section on “Boundaries and Work”, since I’m no longer in the work field. I would have missed out if I had. It was a real eye opener to when I had worked, and packed with wonderful information if I ever decided to return to working. Boundaries are needed in all parts of our lives including, our family, friends, spouses, kids, and those we work with. We as individuals need to set our own boundaries as well. To not do so would only be cheating oneself. We also need to recognize that God has boundaries as well. BOUNDARIES will teach you all you need to know about boundaries in all aspects of your life, and how to apply them properly. I love the reference to Christianity, but even if you’re not a believer, I highly recommend this book. My copy of BOUNDARIES is filled with highlights, parentheses, and astericks. If I had to pinpoint the most valuable piece of information I took away, it would have to be in a paragraph on page 89. “What you can do is influence others. But there is a trick. Since you cannot get them to change, you must change yourself so that their destructive patterns no longer work on you. Change your way of dealing with them; they may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work.” What amazing advice. How often do we gripe and groan about others? How often do we try to change others, whether in the way they act or what they say? And more importantly … how often do our efforts have a positive result? On page 89, BOUNDARIES teaches us that we are the ones that need to make a change, and by doing so, we may be instrumental in changing other’s life. I can’t even begin to guess how many people I’ve recommended this wonderful book too, packed full of knowledge for every person, written in a way that anyone can grasp. It’s a book that will remain in my home indefinitely.

This book is a comprehensive look at boundaries, what they are, and the need to set them in different areas of your life. It has a spiritual thread through it as well, which does not proselytize. It is also not overly clinical in the discussions of boundaries and it would be a great read that could resonate with anyone. It is a book I use in my life and with my therapy clients. Check it out for yourself! You might be surprised to see how much you resonate with the scenarios and how much you uncover about yourself in the process of learning.

Very good -most comprehensive and timeless, well researched and well written in communicate communicated. I learned a lot from this book to apply to myself to teach others.

Great book!!

Definitely one of those game changer books for the people pleasers, those who give so much but end up resentful because other's do not do the same in return. This book spoke to many of the experiences i have faced including one-sides friendships and allowing myself to be taken advantage of to the point of leading to depression. I have set many boundaries with courage and it has brought a lot of peace. I learned the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and how to avoid and address the guilt that comes with saying no. I was confused by the use of certain scriptures where it felt the meaning was stretched to fit the narrative in some places so I reduced by one star but that did not take away from being able to learn and apply the principles in this book. Thank you to Dave Ramsey for mentioning this book as a recommendation.

Everyone should read this book. I give copies away for free. It changes lives. I’m so glad I read it.

Highly recommend. My 2026 goal is to build more healthy boundaries with family and friends, and this has been a very wise and biblical book that I could use and apply to my daily life and all the situations that I’m currently facing.

It's a great book setting boundaries and for me it started to show me (in conjunction with therapy) what good boundaries are (taking responsibility for your self and not others but also being responsible to others) it's a great primer on learning the skill if it was not taught earlier. You can always learn and grow

So well written and applicable!! I want to give this book to so many of my friends. A real insight into people's behavior and an aid in dealing with people.

Extrem hilfreich und unterbewertet. Keine Augenwischerei, sondern ein solides Fundament für ein freies Leben. Obwohl man den Autoren den Background wissenschaftlicher Psychologie abspührt, basiert es auf konkreten Erfahrungen und der biblischen Grundlage. Es ist strukturiert und umfassend, ohne trocken zu sein. Man kann das Buch oder Teile davon immer wieder mit Segen lesen. Es hat meinen Glauben, meine Beziehungen, meine Ehe und andere Lebensbereiche stark bereichert. Ich habe das Hörbuch schon vorher gehört. Mit einem Buch ist es etwas übersichtlicher, da die Theorie sonst untergehen kann. Leider ist es in deutscher Übersetzung tw. sinnentstellend übersetzt und uninteressant aufgemacht.

I needed this book when I got married. WOW!!!

The book helped me reflect both on how boundaries develope in childhood and how I can apply them in adult life. I found it informative both for myself and for the Christian clients I counsel. I have made a lot of notes from this book. The update for boundaries in the digital age in the latest edition is also relevant and a useful addition to the book.

Fantastiskt bra bok, lärde mig mycket och som verkligen har hjälpt mig att börja sätta gränser på ett bra sätt. Rekommenderas!