Stay

How to start. How to start. Perhaps with what made me unable to put this book down when I got it last evening. First paragraph- " First off, I've never told this story to anyone. Not the entire thing anyway, and not entirely truthfully. I'm only telling it now for one reason, and that's because an untold story has a weight that can submerge you, sure as a sunken ship at the bottom of the ocean. I learned that. This kind of story, those kind of things kept secret- they have the power to keep you hidden forever, and most of all from yourself. The ghosts from that drowned ship, they keep haunting." That first paragraph resonated with me so much that I had to dive in with my head and for once, open up that little place I allow to feel, my heart. I knew Clara from the minute she met Christian and knew exactly why she did every action she did. I'd once held the power Clara felt of having someone love her so much that they'd do anything to keep her. It's powerful and wonderful and scary to be the one that loves less. But it's all consuming and Clara learns that there is a dark side to the power and Christian. And his jealousies and walking on eggshells and having to lie about her past becomes too much. It's emotionally draining. And dangerous in a way Clara can't even imagine. She and Christian were perfect and then Christian, perfect, beautiful, foreign Christian let his insecurities begin to show and there was no forgetting. And there is accommodating and adjusting for certain things in a relationship and then there is what Clara did for Christian. But this is not one of those stories where you can say "Oh stupid girl." and want to shake her because Clara has brought us into the story with her. We are Clara for lack of a better way to explain it. She put little asterisks in her story. Example- She lets us know her mother is dead.* Then at the bottom of the page "*Yes this story has a dead mother. Mine. She had a sudden aneurysm when I was barely four. Died before she could even get to a hospital. Dead mother's have become a story cliche thanks to Disney movies and novel writers. All the dead mothers in books, you'd think it was a common occurrence. Even Dad's books have them. But mine was real. She was no cliche and neither am I." It's Clara's story and she's writing it not Deb Caletti. The author is not between us and Clara. She's removed herself and I kept checking the description of the book to make sure this was fiction and not Deb Caletti's real story. Because the author removed herself from the story, I felt very close to Clara. I identified with her, understood her trying to spare Christian's feelings, trying time and time to remove the hurt. She was a nice girl. She was nice to people and breaking up with someone, well it makes her feel not nice. And she's sure that Christian's reactions are her fault, for that first giddy feeling of power. The one she can't admit to at first but then tells her Dad, her Dad the writer who seems less like a Dad and more like an adult friend that takes care of Clara. He respects her way more than any parent I've ever seen to be called a parent. Yet he is parental when necessary, he doesn't tell Clara "no" when he doesn't like Christian. But when he sees warning signs, danger, he takes action. But if Clara feels shame and can't forgive herself, her father feels even worse. This stalwart man who plays metaphor games and would rather use clues to guess who's house they are renting than google him, the one that insists on protecting his daughter has a big secret. One that changes everything for Clara. She keeps us with her throughout the novel, with her asterisks as if she's sitting beside us letting us know the secret thoughts she had while putting her story down. While unburdening her of the ghosts. More than one passage made me stop and I had to read it over and over sinking into what it really was saying, not just the words on the top layer, but the deeper meaning. I felt so many emotions reading this novel and when I finished it, I wanted to pick it up and start again. And I will. I'll learn something new that I didn't catch the first time as I ate it up. It isn't a light read or easy. It's philosophical and deep with emotion and thought. It is definitely character driven. Clara brings us along through every emotion dragging us through the dirty self doubt and self incrimination to the final triumph of anger. Does she grow in this book? We're sitting here while she tells her story aren't we? Dad is a big character in this novel and I like the relationship he and Clara have. Does Dad grow? From a famous author to a human being, at least for Clara. There is of course Christian. And if you don't know a Christian in male or female form, then you're lucky. I have a magnet for these type of people. There are other secondary characters that bring some much needed relief to the tension in Clara's life. If I had a rating system, stars, hearts, rabbits, hats, gold coins any of the creative things I've seen other reviewers use I'd throw all the things I had into a pot and make the biggest star, heart, rabbit, hat, gold coin and make it dance, sing, shoot fire works whatever. This is the best realistic fiction I have ever read. This is the best YA I have read. This is the best book I have read. Never have I felt more a part of a story, never have I been so involved, so unsure of the outcome, so tentative as Clara moved ahead with her/my life. I wouldn't have Deb Caletti change even one word in this novel. It isn't entertaining. It's more than realistic. It's real.

Also appears on The Screaming Nitpicker. It began at a basketball game and went downhill from there. Clara and Christian's relationship seemed like a dream at the start and maybe even a love that was meant to be, but it soon revealed itself to be a nightmare. Christian's obsession with Clara forces her and her father to flee to Bishop Rock for a summer to get away from him and keep the two apart. Clara, still dealing with all the guilt and fear that her relationship left her with, starts to like Bishop Rock, her snappy boss Sylvie (who's taking a liking to Clara's father), and a sailor boy named Finn. But Christian isn't going away that easily and secrets--not just Clara's secrets, but the secrets of many people--will drown you if you don't let them go. Books about obsession or obsessive love portrayed as such are my ultimate drug. I rarely read them so that I can keep the magic (and also because I have some trouble finding them; I would love recommendations, if you could be so kind), but I love them so much. Caletti took my favorite subject and wrote a phenomenal book I know will join my list of favorites and be reread in the future. For all the ideas out there that getting out of an unhealthy relationship is as easy as saying it's over, it's not that easy. Many times, as in Clara's case, the ex refuses to let it lie and will beg for another chance, sometimes putting themselves and others in danger in the process. The guilt Clara feels, how she had to tiptoe around and be careful about what she said so Christian wouldn't get mad or jealous, that feeling that you have to fix what's wrong because it's your fault they feel that way or it's your job as their loved one--it matches everything I've ever learned from independent research and even what a friend who was once in that sort of relationship told me. Sometimes, it was downright frustrating to see Clara do the things she did for Christian, but that's how it is. She didn't know any better or what she could have done at the time. Stay often reads like a memoir, one woman's tale of her past experiences, and she reflects deeply on what she's been through and what she could have done differently. Lyrical prose with similes, metaphors, and ruminations on subjects like words themselves give Stay depth, though it often goes overboard and has multiple deep musings in just a few pages. This book had me gripped the entire time, especially in chapters and scenes where we go back to when Clara and Christian were dating and what happened shortly after their breakup. Scenes where Christian demonstrated just how deeply obsessed he was left me bug-eyed; my hands shook as they held the book and I read like that was all that kept me alive. Another frustration was the way flashbacks and the present were alternated between for most of the book because I wanted all of the story NOW, darn it, but it kept me reading exactly like it was supposed to. And the story isn't completely about Clara's secrets and the aftermath of her relationship. We get subplots about her father too! Clara and her father had a special, close relationship the likes of which are rarely seen in young adult books anymore, and he was just as enjoyable and flawed of a character as Clara was. Going along with the theme of how secrets can harm you, he had a few of his own revealed slowly throughout the book. Initially, he is just Clara's dad the famous mystery writer; by the end of the novel, he is Bobby Oates to both Clara and the reader and not just the dad anymore. How many books can you name that take the parent and turn them into more than a parent? If I loved it so much, what keeps me from giving it the best rating possible? Two things. This was supposed to be the final copy, but I saw multiple areas where further editing was needed, even when considering Clara's love of sentences that aren't always right grammatically, or blatant mistakes were made. Mistakes like "moving" where "movie" should be, occasional moments of stilted writing, and the misspelling of one character's name. Sentences like "My school was playing his, and I was there with my friend Shakti, who was watching her boyfriend Luke, number sixteen, who was at that moment sitting on the bench and drumming his fingers on his knee like he did when he was nervous (p.2)" make me cringe. Then Clara does something stupid halfway through the book: call her friend and tell her where she is. When it comes to events that push the plot, there are ones that feel like they fall into the natural sequence of events and then there are unnatural ones that feel like they were written in solely to move the plot along. Clara's call felt like the latter. She didn't seem like the kind of character to ignore the advice of a seasoned law enforcement officer who knew what he was talking about when it came to stalkers and obsessive exes. I would love to see a companion novel to Stay from Christian's point of view so we could get his perspective on his relationship with Clara and see just how deep his obsession runs. If there's anything that fascinates me more than seeing obsession through the eyes of the object of obsession, it's seeing the same thing through the eyes of the one with the obsession. I won't hold my breath on that book, but that would no doubt be just as awesome a book as Stay was.

I was looking for a story that was intense, thought provoking, and in general have me at the edge of my seat. Stay did not deliver the intensity I wanted, but it had an interesting story that was realistic in every sense. Here we have a young girl running away from a frightening situation and trying to sort out her life; where to go next and what steps to take to get there. Her relationship with her father becomes challenged with buried secrets and old, as well as new, friends shake things up a bit. I really liked the realness of Stay and the subject matter upon which the story was written. Many young girls and women face the horrors of a relationship gone wrong but never seem to be able to find the courage to take a stand before it's too late. Clara blamed herself for the increased possession and psycho-mental behavior. Like many, she believed it was her fault why Christian got the way he did. That she let it happened. And the best aspect of the story was her coming to the realization that it was in fact not her doing. Clara's character was acceptable, but I didn't develop any sort of connection. I was simply going along with her story because I wanted to see the outcome. I waited patiently to see if or when Clara as well as her father would stop running from Christian as well as from other things in their lives. Because, like I've mentioned before, the story wasn't all about Clara's unhealthy relationship with Christian, there were other pressing issues at hand. There was something else I liked about Stay, and that was the blooming romance and sense of belonging that Clara and her father started to experience in her new life. The attraction wasn't pulling me in at first, but I understood that based on her past troubles Clara wanted to go slow. And Finn was the right kind of guy that wanted to take it easy and make her feel as comfortable, and safe, as possible. The same was for her father. He held on to the guilt of what happened with Clara's mother. So, it was refreshing for him to rekindle the magic of friendship and return to the world of intimacy and dating. Unfortunately, there were bothersome factors. What bugged me about the book was the pace and the author's constant method of going into details that seemed to go on for too long. Sadly, I strayed on several occasions, reading while nothing was coming through or sticking with me. At times I felt a scene was too draggy when it should have moved along to the next. Also, while I did like the addition of footnotes personalizing the story even more, there were times I felt they were a little unnecessary for certain descriptions. But other than those few things, Stay was a good read and once again, I liked the realistic subject matter because I haven't read much on such topic and this book has invited me to do so more often.

I knew you wouldn't disappoint me Caletti, I just knew it. This book...gosh I don't even have the words to express how amazing this book was. Have you ever read a book that just made so much sense and connected to you in such a way that it left you thinking about it for days later? Because that's how I felt reading this book. "It wasn't fair for a person to shove himself at you again and again when you wanted them gone. We should have the right to have someone leave when we want, to only allow those in who we want in. But the truth is, people can force their way into your life whenever they choose. If they want to remind you forevermore that they exist, they will. They can reappear in a card or a call or a "chance" meeting, they can remember your birthday or the day you met with some innocuous small note. No matter how little they matter in your new life, they can insist on being seen and recognized and remembered." Clara the main character speaks to you in a way that no other character can. She tells her story, and she really connect with the reader. The thing that I loved most about this book is how real everything was. When we read story about a couple falling love it's always the same thing: girl likes boy, boy likes girl, they fall in love, the end. But in this story we find out what happens when you fall in love, and things don't turn out the way you hoped. Clara loved Christian and a part of her always will but the big difference between her and all the other girls in novels is that she knows when things have gone to far. She realizes their relationship is not healthy and even though a big part of her wants to be with him, she knows she needs to leave. "You read all kinds of books and see all kinds of movies about the man who is obsessed and devoted, whose focus is a single solid beam, same as the lighthouse and that intense, too. It is Heathcliff with Catherine. It is a vampire with a passionate love stronger than death. We crave that kind of focus from someone else. We'd give anything to be that "loved." But that focus is not some soul-deep pinnacle of perfect devotion - it's only darkness and the tormented ghosts of darkness. It's strange, isn't it, to see a person's gaping emotional wounds, their gnawing needs, as our romance? We long for it, I don't know why, but when we have it, it is a knife at our throat on the banks of Greenlake. It is an unwanted power you'd do anything to be rid of. A power that becomes the ultimate powerlessness." Obsession is not something that should be taken lightly, and I like how in this novel it truly opened my eyes to how serious it could get. I don't know about you guys but I've read a lot of books where the guy falls in love with the girl and it's almost like he's obsessed with her because "he can't get enough"; I used to think it was so romantic how he would get incredibly jealous and want her all to himself, but now I'm seriously questioning the authors message. In Stay, Clara makes it clear from the beginning how scary and not romantic it is when you can't even look at anyone without you're boyfriend accusing you of cheating and verbally abusing you. Deb Caletti really outdid herself in this book and it's honestly got to be my favorite one from her so far! It's really a shame that she doesn't get the attention she deserves, but I know for a fact that she will keep writing amazing stories that ultimately change peoples lives. Because this book definitely changed my life, and I don't think I'll ever be the same. You have to give this book a chance, trust me you will not be sorry. And not to keep ranting on but I have yet to read one bad review about this book, and that's probably because this book is so close to perfection it's almost impossible to not like it.

I've read several books about abusive or just unhealthy relationships and some were good, but none of them ever felt completely believable. Stay by Deb Caletti is the exception. This is a breathtaking book in so many ways. It's realistic and beautifully written. It's not just about a unhealthy relationship. It's also about family and forgiveness. The way the story is told was one of my favorite parts. The chapters alternate between what is happening now and what happened in the past with Clara and Christian. This makes it feel like the story is building to a slow fever pitch. You know that eventually Christian is going to catch up with them, but you just have to read faster to see what happens. In the mean time there are lots of other elements to the story. Clara and her father have some very important things to work out and they both need to forgive themselves for things that were outside their control. There might also be a chance of new love. I really, really liked Clara. Sure, she had a skewed view of her relationship, but I resonated so well with that. I had a really bad relationship once. It took me a long time to figure out just how unhealthy it was. It was very much like Clara and Christian's, just without the creepy factor. It never escalated that far, but their dynamic felt like reading my own past. I also really enjoyed the other characters. Her Dad was great and all of the secondary characters played a big role. They were all really fleshed out. This was my first Deb Caletti book and I have no idea why I waited so long. Her writing is gorgeous! Stay is the most poignant and well written contemporaries I have read in a very long time. I can't wait to dive into Caletti's other books.

Sometimes I like a light read in between my more action-packed YA books, so I picked this one based on the reviews and beachy cover. I didn't regret it. The characters are eccentric but believable, and the plot is completely realistic in a teen-movie kind of way. Does that make sense? What I mean is that it is something that could happen to a real girl, or woman, of any age-- falling in love with someone who then becomes controlling and obsessive, and then blaming yourself for it. While everyone else is blaming him and calling him crazy, in the back of your mind you feel guilty because you're the one who initiated the whole relationship. You're the one who learned to work around the controlling behavior: don't look at other guys while he's around, tell him you're doing something with your dad when you're with your friends, apologize when he misunderstands something,... Clara's guilt isn't the annoying, self-deprecating type of a whiny protagonist, but a real, understandable construct of her character. It's almost like Deb Caletti went through this herself and translated it into fiction. The new romance is a helpful way for Clara to move past Christian's obsession, but she can never truly escape it. She needs to learn that it is not her fault. The background story about her parents helps her do so, and ties the story together in a way that fits so perfectly, you wonder how you didn't think of it yourself. The character of Finn is the perfect person to help Clara understand that not all guys are like Christian-- in fact, he's the complete opposite. Which is just what she needs. [I gave this book 4 stars because there were certain parts where I was thinking, "okay, just get on with it." It was too descriptive and a little repetitive. That's all.] It may be a heavy subject matter, but this is not a heavy book. It's sad sometimes and happy other times, but mostly it's lighthearted and thoughtful, written from a clear, no-nonsense first person point of view. I would even read it again.

As a victim of stalking, this book touched home to me. I even highlighted phrases and lines throughout it for me to go back to whenever i am having "one of those days." It gave me strength and confirmation that I made the right choice to leave my old relationship. I encourage anyone who is in an awful relationship, a victim of stalking or domestic abuse to read this book! The main character is like so many young girls are; forgiving, hopeful, social, and curious. These qualities lead her to Christian, the not so obvious bad guy of the story. The relationship is ideal at first, but of course things turn sour after a few months. After taking as much as she can take, she breaks things off with Christian. He then stalks her until she is forced to move away to an island with her single father, who is an author and an amazingly out of the box character in the book. Christian follows her there and the ending, which I won't spoil, is one that ends perfectly realistically. I just enjoyed this book so much! Readers will appreciate the dynamic that the main character has with her witty father. I also appreciated that the author did not make Christian an obvious and stereotypical "bad guy" in the book, because in real life there are far more Christian's than typical bad guys. Christian is damaged and that is what makes him behave the way that he does. It does not excuse his behavior, but it makes you understand the cycle and why it takes the main character so long to leave him and why she questions that decision later on. The book also has footnotes, and not the typical kind. These footnotes are personal, and they serve as a way of insight into the deeper meanings of the prose itself through the main character's eyes. I cannot stress how amazing this book is. Get it!

Do not let the synopsis deceive you. If you know me or have surfed through my blog, you would know that I almost never give bad ratings to a book. I hate it. But when I pick up a book and love the blurb and then it turns out like this? I feel like I have no choice. It wasn’t all bad but it wasn’t really good though I think, for me, that it lands somewhere in bad side of things. I was so excited when I saw this, I was having some weird obsession with books with stalkers and the summary of this book was so mysterious and it intrigued me. I started reading this and I liked how it alternated between past and present and I also liked how it was written, I just didn’t like the story much. Everything moved too fast with Clara and Christian and Clara and Finn. One second she doesn’t know who Christian is and next thing you know they’re together and he’s obsessed. The attitude of the characters were nice but I didn’t feel like I was them, like I was going through what they were going through and when that doesn’t happen I feel disappointed. I was waiting for the whole book turning every page, in hope that something severe, something mind-blowing would happen, it never did. I agree that towards the end there was a scene that was sort of out of the blue and I enjoyed it, but the ending? Was it a joke? I absolutely hated the ending! I had high expectations entering this book and am sorry to say that I was let down. Bottom line: It wasn’t that great of a book, it had a lot of things that I didn’t like but it also had some things that I did like. But hey, that’s just my opinion. If you ever come around to reading this book, be sure to leave a comment and tell me how you felt about it. Enjoy!

Thank you!

I have been a fan of Deb Caletti for about five years now and absolutely adore her books. I've given my copies to so many friends to read that I've converted them, too! In Stay, Clara is trying to escape her past, poisonous relationship in order to start again and find peace away from Christian, her obsessive ex-boyfriend. An excellent premise - which Deb's book makes good on. Deb's writing style is flawless - she uses language to describe ordinary, day-to-day things that I've never really thought about, to make them beautiful. This book is no different - I've used my kindle 'highlight' function at least 30 times in this book! Absolutely amazing, thought provoking and above all - an excellent read which pulls you in and doesn't want to let go.

Great book!

I really liked this book, I will say however I was left wanting there to have been more to the story.....it was a bit anticlimactic BUT it the stories defense it was nicely written and worked well. I did want to keep reading and was well submersed in the story I life the characters and it was all believable, subtle little things gave you the foreshadowing that kept you reading and big hidden secrets that are revealed make the end of the book a fresh start feel.

I loved it, had everything. A brilliant read, the first book I’ve read by this author I would certainly read more.