Seriously Mum, What's an Alpaca?: An Adventure in the Frying Pan of Spain

This is a lovely little memoir of an English family that pulls up roots and trundles off to Spain with an eye toward alpaca ranching. There's nothing in the world quite like an English ex-pat. Certainly they're not immigrants in the usual sense of the word for they never quite take up the role of victim or beggar, but rather become strangers in a strange land, workers amongst alien corn. Wherever they go, whatever they do, they never lose the humor and confidence that makes them British, and such is the case with Alan Parks and his family. As one might expect in a memoir set in foreign climes, there are misunderstandings with the locals, both linguistic and cultural, but they are always told with an eye toward humor and optimism, self-effacing as only a traditional Brit can be. One of my favorite parts of the book was when the Brits were trying to explain to the locals exactly what they intended to do, at a point when the alpacas of the title were yet unseen by the farmers and olive growers. After long explanations in phrasebook Spanish and many drawings by Alan, the Spanish finally got the idea--these crazy Brits were going to let herds of giraffes cavort among their olive trees! When the true nature of the alpacas became known I'm quite sure the reputation of the English for eccentricity was not diminished one whit. The author takes you through the joys and tragedies of becoming alpaca ranchers when you have little going for you other than good intentions, enthusiasm and boundless optimism. It is a tale about making dreams come true, but also a chronicle of the travails that are sometimes necessary in making those dreams manifest. It is well-written, engaging, and told in a narrative laced with equal parts of hubris, humor, humility and naivety. If you enjoy memoirs or autobiographies, you'll probably like this one. And it won't hurt if, like me, you're also something of an Anglophile...an aficionado of an England that used to be.

I bought this book thinking, based on the title, that it would have to be funny. There were some funny moments in it, of course, but there were also some sad ones and a lot that must have been embarrassing. Alan and Lorna are an older British couple who, for health reasons among other things wanted to try a different occupation. They fell in love with alpacas and decided to move to Spain to breed them. Silly me, I had expected that the story would take place somewhere in South America. Anyway, they find a house with a renovated olive mill in a remote area of Andalucía and get to work. They have taken a brief course in Spanish, but, of course, this was proper Spanish which bore little resemblance to the language actually spoken in this poor rural area. This contributes to some of the mix-ups they encounter. In part because of the language issue, they wind up doing possibly too much of their business with other British ex-patriots there in Andalucía. Even the people from whom they are getting their Alpacas are British. This leads to some funny situations, and also to some not-so-funny episodes. Alpacas are supposed to be easy to breed and not suffer much from disease. But Alan and Lorna seem to have rather bad luck in this area and lose several of their valuable alpacas, including several of the new babies. This is particularly upsetting for them, as they are serious animal lovers. Over the course of a couple of years, however, things slowly get better – sort of. The alpaca herd begins to grow, and they become good friends with several of their Spanish neighbors. They acquire an interesting collection of other animals as well. Their solar-powered house mostly works ok when the sun shines – which it does quite a lot in this area. And the leaky roof is only a problem when it sets in to really rain…. The thing that most seriously disappointed me, however, was that I had been expecting the family to have at least two, possibly more children around ten years of age or so to get into funny situations with the animals. As it turned out, the children were something like eighteen and twenty-four. One of them didn’t even go to Andalucía, and the other one returned to England after the first year. They were very helpful in getting the alpaca business going but didn’t have any funny adventures at all.

I really identified with this story about moving to Spain and rearing alpacas, because I've done exactly the same thing rearing goats, here in France. (I hope Alan's book sells better than mine has!) It's an enjoyable read which makes me want to find out more about what happened next.

I really enjoyed reading this book. The author did a great job of describing the daily life as alpaca farmers - the struggles and joys. The writing gives readers a real insight into what life is like living in a different country from the one where you grew up. I did have an inkling that raising Alpacas wasn't going to be as easy as they Alan and Lorna first thought. This is a great adventure they have embarked upon!

I was reading another book when I came across this and bought it. Had a quick glance and intended to read it after my current book. I couldn't! It engaged me right from the outset so I just had to keep on going. The book is about Alan and Lorna who live in Brighton. Lorna is a dance teacher but she has been suffering with ill-health and finding it hard to continue with her tuition. They decide to totally change their life and move to Spain and breed Alpacas. They are relatively young to do this sort of thing-I think Alan was about thirty-five/thirty-six?-so it's not the normal expat story where people sell up to retire, hence the idea for a business breeding Alpacas. Not a common choice of animal either so this book is really different, a breath of fresh air. Very well-told it is too. Alan and Lorna come across as really likeable people. Alan has the patience of a saint! There are many tender moments in the book, unexpected happenings, heart-breaking moments, light humour, really makes you smile but doesn't try too hard to be funny, the humour isn't forced at all, just natural comedy flow. Contrast this with learning about the different ways of life with the locals and their customs and quirks and then some really 'tug-at your-heartstrings' moments with the animal episodes and you have a fantastic reading experience. I needed the tissues sometimes, it really got to my emotions, the sad bits about the animals, I could hardly bear to turn the pages near the end in case something had gone wrong again..... It is easy reading; nice short chapters. I like the chapter titles that give you an idea of the happenings to come, a very organised result, never rambling. Good descriptive detail, yet not longwinded . The descriptions of the landscape are beautiful. Throughout the book, Alan uses some good adjectives, different choice of words from the norm. The book strikes a chord with me because one of my mum's ex-neighbours' daughter keeps Alpacas in Wales. I'd never heard of anyone having them before that and certainly not in the UK anyway. Not in every chapter, but, there is an 'animal count' where he keeps track of how many bought and acquired animals so far and their names-THEIR NAMES!! What a gift this man has for naming his pets and livestock! Beyoncé and J-lo (for chickens), and the Royle family for cats- Jim, Barb, Dave, Baby David, Twiggy, R Denise-Hilarious! What is really sad and surprising to me is that when the couple are ripped off, it is by English people, not Spaniards. Disgusting. You would expect English in Spain to stick together. Alan seems so nice and so trusting. There are some really kind people in the book who bend over backwards to help as well as the 'rip-off merchants'. Lorna's daughter says in the book: 'Bloody Hell-what's an Alpaca?' on hearing news of their plans to move abroad etc. I had thought that would be the perfect title for this book. 'Seriously' I wasn't as sure about because that's not what Frankie said. I found out later, after browsing on the internet, that the book WAS originally called 'Bloody Hell What's an Alpaca?' but Alan either had to change the title or felt he had to because there were difficulties with some websites accepting it with this title. A shame really because this IS the perfect title. I really enjoyed this, it was a wonderful book. I wish Alan and Lorna all the luck in the world, they've certainly had their fair share of bad luck along the way, they deserve to be happy. You can check out pictures on Alan and Lorna's website and now he has brought out accompanying photo books to go with all his books-these are all free. With the writing, Alan's done such a great job, I could get an excellent picture in my mind of everything going on in the book. I never expected it to be SO GOOD.....and now I've bought his second book 'Seriously Mum-Where's That Donkey'.

....for sharing all of your adventures... you're a fabulous writer and you do believe in yourself, so easy to see because if you didn't you would have given up when goings are tough. Am now going to grab all of your books and enjoy myself. Many thanks

What a brilliant first book. We have all dreamt of a new life somewhere, usually in the sun. Some of us make it but for some it is always just a dream. Alan and Lorna made that dream, well Alan's really, come true. They planned and arranged as much as they could beforehand then in 2008 they left Brighton for their new life in sunny Spain. Their new home is set amidst beautiful landscape which is described wonderfully. Despite many challenges of the physical and emotional kind they solider on making their dream a reality. Throughout the book there is a genuine feeling of happiness and almost childlike excitement over the smallest of successes and about the whole experience. The birth of their first crias brought tears to my eyes. Very easy reading and I highly recommend it, thank you Alan.